Dlamini‑Zuma tells women to ‘walk away’ from abusive marriages: ‘Abuse must not be tolerated’

Dr Nkosazana Dlamini‑Zuma urged women to walk away from abusive marriages and to prioritise survival and dignity over societal expectations, speaking at a gala in Johannesburg supporting the fight against gender‑based violence. According to The Citizen, she made the appeal while addressing attendees at the Executive Red Carpet Business and Leadership Network Gala.

Survivor testimonies that moved the room

According to The Citizen, one of the accounts that deeply affected the audience was that of burn survivor and activist Thembi Maphanga, known as Ms T. The Citizen reports that in 2010 her husband locked her and their two‑year‑old twin daughter in a room, doused her with petrol and set her alight. Neighbours rescued the child, who died two days later; Ms T survived with permanent facial disfigurement and spent months in a coma. The Citizen says she later lost her other twin at birth.

The Citizen also reports that neighbours mocked Ms T, social media labelled her a “spook”, and her employer nonetheless reserved her job and later found her a suitable role after a two‑year absence.

Patterns and failures Dlamini‑Zuma highlighted

According to The Citizen, Dlamini‑Zuma said abuse often begins in childhood, saying:

“a potential abuser starts as a boy who bullies his sisters”

and warned that unchecked behaviour can escalate into abuse of partners and families.

The Citizen reports she also criticised law‑enforcement attitudes that shame victims, noting that police officers sometimes blame rape victims for their clothing.

“As women we have a right to dress the way we want. That should never invite molestation,”

she said, calling for urgent re‑education of officers and communities.

Other accounts of abuse shared at the event

According to The Citizen, activist Sihle Sibisi told attendees she was trafficked to Nigeria as a teenager and abused at the church of the late evangelist TB Joshua for four years. The Citizen reports Sibisi endured sexual, emotional and psychological torment, later receiving vindication after a BBC documentary exposed widespread abuse. Sibisi now leads the Kwanele Foundation, the article says.

According to The Citizen, Mmamaphuleng Manamela recounted being born after her mother, a black domestic worker, was raped by a white farmer; she said she was ostracised by both communities and later repeatedly molested in marriage by a husband who claimed he was “doing her a favour”. The Citizen reports she eventually divorced and later found a supportive partner.

Message to communities

According to The Citizen, Dlamini‑Zuma asked,

“Why rape? I have never understood,”

and told the audience:

“Abuse must not be tolerated – at home, in society, or anywhere.”

Her remarks framed a broader call for communities and institutions to confront violence at its roots and to stop tolerating harm to women.